Where is my mind?

School was a fucking disaster today.

I got up early this morning to finish a design for the woodcut we are working on in my printmaking class. I worked on it for HOURS, looked at about 10 books for references, and made countless drawings of ugly, ugly crap. I left my house to go to school, and realized I was going to be late for my first class, so I went to The House to analyze my "finished" design a bit more. My short analysis, which was abbreviated by the only relaxing part of my day - a cup of coffee with Chryssa - proved that the drawing was not something I felt comfortable turning in, let alone printing. Assignment or not, I see no point in producing work that I don't personally love.

I went to Printmaking and worked on it some more, then finally gave up, deciding that it will be an at-home project that will be finished this week/weekend. I spent so much time over-thinking my original design that I  just need to start over. Not cool, but I'm giving myself a second chance at making this project worthwhile.

After the stress of Printmaking, I went to my Science & Art class and realized, at the sound of the buzzer, that I had completely forgotten to do the weekly homework assignment, which left me with next to nothing to say during our discussion time. Luckily, there was a very interesting lecture at the art school tonight that pulled us out of class early. Frances Whitehead came to talk about her various projects that mix the science of sustainability with art and design. It made for some fascinating and inspiring cross-disciplinary stuff. I'll be writing a summary of the lecture for one of my classes, so I'll try to remember to post that here.

I'm home now, and probably going to go back to The House to see some live music. That usually cheers me up. Then I think I need to go buy a fucking day planner, because my mind is stretched to its limits these days.

Also, it seems that I'm terrified of talking to people that I find attractive. When did this happen? Am I just having an off-week or have I officially become a coward??? Why, oh why, do I over-think EVERYTHING? I haven't used my gut instinct in so long that I think it's broken. Any advice?