Tracy Anderson is a sadist, but life must go on.

I tried doing Tracy Anderson's "Metamorphosis" workout this morning.  I made it through 15 minutes of the cardio section and about five minutes of the muscle toning.  Holy hell, that woman is a sadist.

I've made myself a new schedule to follow, intended to up my productivity in the realms of personal health, art, and general quality of living.  I came up with this new schedule because my summer break is halfway over and all I've done is work too much, injure my back, gain weight, and INDULGE.  This needs to change, because I don't feel proud of myself.  You can't be proud of yourself if you're not accomplishing anything (well, you can, but you shouldn't).

Here's the plan:

• 9:00 a.m.: Wake up, have my morning coffee, ease into the day
• 10:00 a.m.: Work out
• 11:30 a.m.: Prepare for the move I have coming up at the end of this month, by sorting and packing my piles upon piles of accumulated crap
• 2:00 p.m.: Accomplish one big task per day off my "Stop Procrastinating" to-do list, grocery shop, run errands, eat lunch, do what needs to get done
• 4:00 p.m.: Go into my studio and work on my art, whether I'm feeling inspired or not.  SOMETIMES ACTION MUST PRECEDE MOTIVATION.  That's my forever mantra that I've been neglecting to say it to myself lately.
• 7:00 p.m.: I'm free until sleep comes!

Sounds solid, right?  I'll only be working Sundays at the cafe from now on, so if I can stick to this schedule Monday through Friday, I should have a very productive and pride-inducing six weeks before school starts again.  Then, before I know it, it'll be December and I'll be graduating and I get to go back to being a regular old adult again, which I'm pretty stoked about.  After five years in DeKalb, I'm ready to move on.  Perhaps to Austin, Texas...

Resolutions for the New Year

Seven days until 30. Seven days until 30. Seven days until 30.

I'm both dreading my upcoming milestone birthday and happily anticipating it. As a rock star from way back, my last milestone birthday was my 27th, at which point I had a "Dead at 27" get-together to celebrate the fact that years of unrelenting partying had not yet killed me, and I promised myself that I would be nicer to my body and mind from there on out. For the most part, I've kept that promise. Let's just say there have been way more mornings-after hangovers than apologies since then. Phew.

"Dead at 27" Rockstar Party (2009)

My 25th birthday allowed me not only cheaper car insurance, but more opportunity for college financial aid. It took me a year to act on that before returning to school, but in the meantime I found a cognitive behavioral therapist and prepared myself to be a happier, more productive person. By the time I signed up for classes at my community college, I was ready to commit. And now I'm only two semesters away from getting a degree (in a subject I love, no less).

The point I'm getting to with these cheesy-hopeful anecdotes is that I generally think of birthdays as personal New Years, involving much reflection and major resolutions, and despite hiccups along the way, this association seems to work to my advantage. Allow me to indulge in a now-typical, upper-middle class American way of assessing my decades in terms of "self": 

On a road trip with my friend Nicki when I was 25 (2007)

My teens were about learning how society outside my family unit worked, and dealing with the conflicts that those first independent interpersonal relationships bring. They were about being the center of my own universe, and thinking that everything happening around me was happening to me. They were about setting impossible goals and dealing with the inevitable disappointment that comes when you learn that perfection is unattainable.

My early twenties were about giving up completely and losing control. They were about total self-indulgence and fighting to be someone who I was not. Luckily, they soon started being about exploring my self, my interests, my motivations, and my true sources of happiness. They were about learning to maintain good relationships and end bad ones. Most recently, they've been about self-awareness and commitment to living my own life to its fullest potential.

At a printmaking show I was in last fall, age 29 (2011)

And what do I expect my 30s to be about? What do I want to focus on?

Fighting self-doubt. Feeling good about who I am in the present, even as I seek to improve that person. Saying no when I mean it, rather than giving someone that cowardly "maybe" when I know that's not the truth. Living by example and practicing what I preach. Taking risks where they're most needed - in my art and in love and in support of my principles.

The way to reach these goals, of course, is to break them down into manageable mini-goals, which I already have in mind. I will, however, wait to elaborate on these in another post, as this has been a lengthy enough soapbox stand already. Cheers.

I miss THIS.

Since I've last written, I moved out of the apartment I was sharing with Sarah and into a new one with another roomie who ended up leaving halfway through the lease. And, luckily for me, Sarah moved into this new place with me a couple weeks ago. Due to this shifting of space and roommates, a lot of reorganization has been needed on my part. So, I have spent many hours sorting through scattered masses of notes, diaries, travel journals, and other random scrawlings. This, of course, led to countless hours of procrastination in between, during which I decided to reread many of my online blog entries from the past couple of years. Spending so much time reviewing this blog (and all the writings that could have been a part of it) has made me realize something: I miss personal blogging. A LOT.

Why did I quit?

I suppose because I've been trying to turn my online efforts toward more professionally productive avenues, such as building my artist's website (nriceart.com) and a Tumblr account (nriceart.tumblr.com) to go with it. There were business cards to be made, artworks to be photographed, and even a QR code to be created that needed to lead my contacts to a self-made mobile site. With all of this artistic ammunition in hand, I attended my first SGC printmaking conference in New Orleans.

"It's For The Best" Litho by N.Rice (2012)

But that conference took place in March, and since then, outside of creating some awesome new prints, I was just doing a lot of Facebooking. (I also traveled to Amsterdam, started working on music with a new band, and dealt with all sorts of man-drama in my personal life... all quite noteworthy ways to spend one's time, but those stories are for another day.)

And so I'm back!! I'm turning 30 in 13 days, am about to start my LAST year of art school (yes, I will actually have a degree soon, and after only 12 years of on-again-off-again college attendance), and I'm not about to miss out on documenting the achievements and horrors that are sure to befall me over the next year. Riding on the cusp of thirty has me doing all sorts of reflecting, analyzing, obsessing, and promising myself changes in lifestyle and thought patterns. I need to share it all somewhere, or my life may as well be a tree falling in the forest, with no one to hear it.

So, can we take the next hour and talk about me?

Frances Whitehead Lecture Summary

I recently attended a fascinating lecture at my school (see: "Where is my mind?"). Since I didn't go into much detail in that entry, below is a summary of the lecture that I wrote for one of my art history classes. I added plenty of links for your surfing pleasure, and found a couple video excerpts from the actual lecture on YouTube, which I've included at the bottom of this post.

Frances Whitehead

Climate Change: Culture Change

      On September 13, 2010, “designist” Frances Whitehead visited Northern Illinois University to speak about sustainability and the various cross-disciplinary projects in which she is involved. She gave a very informative and inspiring lecture on the importance of artists collaborating with people in different fields, specifically in the struggle to improve our environment and increase clean food and water sources. She began her artistic career as a sculptor, who often looked to the aforementioned problems for inspiration in her work. She soon realized, however, that she was only talking about the struggles themselves, and not the possible solutions to them. It was at this point that she changed direction and decided that she wanted her projects to take on a larger scale, while contributing a more pro-active (rather than reactive) response to the same issues.

      Whitehead moved into the realm of city planning, working with government officials in the City of Chicago. With her input, they developed a four pillar “Model of Sustainability” that includes cultural vitality, social equity, environmental responsibility, and economic health. She began identifying as a “designist,” a combination artist-designer, who believes that good design can improve the world around her. Working off this four pillared model, Whitehead and her cross-disciplinary colleagues have combined science, art, and government to come up with solutions to Chicago's (and other cities') pollution problems; they are currently working at planting beautiful, fruit-bearing, and fragrant plants on the sites of abandoned gas stations within the city. The plants will not only beautify the land and provide fresh food to residents, but will also clean the pollutants in the soil, renewing its richness (in a process called phytoremediation). Whitehead has spearheaded many other cross-disciplinary projects, as well, including The Greenhouse Chicago, the Embedded Artists Project, and K Lab.

      She ended her lecture by discussing ways that artists can become more involved in their communities, and giving tips on how to contact city officials and scientists with whom they may join forces. She explained that she often asks the question “what do artists know?” and the answer is that they know beauty, design, creativity, and culture, which are all very important items to be taken into consideration when solving sustainability issues in the world.

If you'd like to read more about Whitehead, check out this entry from the Art: 21 Blog.

Let's have a quickie!

My first class was canceled, so I'm killing time in the computer lab. I was going to post all about my recent trip to the MCA with Chryssa, and highlight some of the phenomenal artists we saw, but I don't have time right now. I do have time, however, to list what I got in the gift shop: a set of glass plates that look like a paper plates, a few little presents for some of my loved ones, and a magnificent book about my favorite performance artist, Marina Abramovic. I'm most excited about reading the Abramovic book, which comes with an audio guide narrated by the artist herself. Looooove. Oh, yeah, I bought a membership to the museum, as well. That means a whole year's worth of art-tastic fun.

I have printmaking class in about 15 minutes, and it's woodcut critique day. Ugh. My woodcut came out terrible, in my opinion. It was a passionless project for me. Sometimes when you struggle with a piece, it becomes your favorite, your pet, a challenge to be conquered with pride; other times, you just want to chuck it in the garbage can, out of pure hatred and frustration. Unfortunately for this woodcut, it fell into the latter of those two categories.

Cheers, all. My band is playing a show next Wednesday at The House. Y'all should come and drink and dance and laugh with me. It's gonna be a time. Here's the link to the event information.

Where is my mind?

School was a fucking disaster today.

I got up early this morning to finish a design for the woodcut we are working on in my printmaking class. I worked on it for HOURS, looked at about 10 books for references, and made countless drawings of ugly, ugly crap. I left my house to go to school, and realized I was going to be late for my first class, so I went to The House to analyze my "finished" design a bit more. My short analysis, which was abbreviated by the only relaxing part of my day - a cup of coffee with Chryssa - proved that the drawing was not something I felt comfortable turning in, let alone printing. Assignment or not, I see no point in producing work that I don't personally love.

I went to Printmaking and worked on it some more, then finally gave up, deciding that it will be an at-home project that will be finished this week/weekend. I spent so much time over-thinking my original design that I  just need to start over. Not cool, but I'm giving myself a second chance at making this project worthwhile.

After the stress of Printmaking, I went to my Science & Art class and realized, at the sound of the buzzer, that I had completely forgotten to do the weekly homework assignment, which left me with next to nothing to say during our discussion time. Luckily, there was a very interesting lecture at the art school tonight that pulled us out of class early. Frances Whitehead came to talk about her various projects that mix the science of sustainability with art and design. It made for some fascinating and inspiring cross-disciplinary stuff. I'll be writing a summary of the lecture for one of my classes, so I'll try to remember to post that here.

I'm home now, and probably going to go back to The House to see some live music. That usually cheers me up. Then I think I need to go buy a fucking day planner, because my mind is stretched to its limits these days.

Also, it seems that I'm terrified of talking to people that I find attractive. When did this happen? Am I just having an off-week or have I officially become a coward??? Why, oh why, do I over-think EVERYTHING? I haven't used my gut instinct in so long that I think it's broken. Any advice?

Love Your Fellow Artists

Chryssa and I were having a discussion last night about how important it is, as art students, to stay involved in the local art community and to form good relationships with your fellow artists and colleagues. Many of us who make art were raised on the myth of the "genius artist," a man whose greatness was born into him, a natural talent, who works alone, whose work is so profound that it speaks for itself, insisting that this man be "discovered" and immediately promoted to elite status in his society. In reality, 99 percent of the time, this just ain't the way things work. In order for most artists to find success and carve out a comfortable spot in the vast art world that surrounds them, they need to work together; community is of the essence.

Too many times at school, especially in my studio classes, I witness classmates being too shy or closed off to ask an opinion of someone working next to them. I see them defensively arguing over their pieces during critiques, or cutting down the work of others, in terribly nonconstructive ways. They skip most of the gallery shows in town, only gracing the ones that are presented by their friends. All this behavior makes me wonder one thing - why are they art students? I mean, a major or minor in Studio Art doesn't seem like a choice one would "default" to.

I'm not saying that I've got this all under control, but I know where I strive to be within my community, and I know that I expect my success as an artist and art historian to come with support from others. I know that I want to go to as many local gallery openings as possible this year, and that I'd like to widen my circle of artist friends. I enjoy discussing my work and the work of others as much as possible, and find the opinions of my friends and classmates to be invaluable; I always leave artistically focused conversations feeling like I've learned something new.

And next Friday, I plan to buy a membership to the MCA in Chicago. I would like to plan monthly/bi-monthy trips there, and I'd love it if others would join me. Chryssa and I are going together next week, to buy the memberships, and after that I plan on making event announcements to see if others would like to join. We can take the train, or carpool, check out the museum, then, afterward, talk about the work we've just seen. Doesn't that sound great? If not, that's okay, just don't rain on my parade.

 

The exhibit I'm most excited about seeing is called "Works on Paper" from the MCA Collection (running until October 3, 2010). It features work by several artists, including some by a most interesting character - Henry Darger. My last roommate introduced me to Darger's work, and I have since fallen in love with it, as well as with the story of his life. There is a wonderful documentary about him, called In the Realms of the Unreal, which I highly recommend.

Art on, brothers and sisters.

May Madness

Someone is ringing the ghetto doorbell outside - honk honk honk honk - seriously? Just get out of you car and go to the door, jerk face. Grr.

School's out for summer, my roommate has moved out, and I'm leaving for Greece in less than three weeks. Also, I will be moving out of my apartment before I leave for vacation, and I'm a little sad about letting it go. Even though the electricity and plumbing are shit (I can't run a toaster and a coffee machine at the same time without the power going out, and every time I take a shower water leaks into my neighbors' bedroom), I do like this place a lot. Not only that, but since I moved in a little less than a year ago, I've managed to acquire approximately 80-100 new owl collectibles, and probably about 60-80 new VHS tapes. Moving is gonna be an overwhelming process. As it always is.

In other news, Wienerslav has been asked to play another show at The House on May 19th, opening up for a Virginia band called The Judy Chops. We are also going to get together to record a couple songs on Monday and make ourselves a MySpace page to showcase our tunes. Keep your ears open!

And though I haven't had a moment to make any crafts for the Etsy shop I mentioned a couple months ago, my friend and fellow blogger Chrissy has, and her items are posted and ready for sale! Check them out at The Tawdry Owl on Etsy. And while you're there, check out my brother's shop, too.

Last but not least, here are some photos of my final sculpture project. I'm really pleased with how it turned out, and I wish it would have been finished early enough to be in the show with my other works. Too bad. Maybe I will be able to show it sometime in the future...

"Better Version of Me"

Nikki Rice

May 2010

Living This Life

April has been a month spent immersed in art and music, just as I prefer. On the 8th, both of my bands, Eat Your Heart Out! and Wienerslav, played a benefit concert called Rock Against Rape (see my previous post for info). It was fantastic! About $1000 was collected for the local non-profit agency Safe Passage. Then, on the 22nd, Wienerslav played another show with some amazing musicians - most notably, Jason and the Punknecks. The bill was filled with high energy country-punk-blues bands that I felt honored to play amongst.

I don't have any future shows scheduled yet, but am looking to book one for my birthday, at the end of the summer. And hopefully a few in between, once I get back from my summer vacation to Greece. Yes, I'm going to Greece!!! For a whole month! Could I be any luckier?

In other news, two of my sculpture pieces were featured in NIU's 2010 Graduate and Undergraduate Sculpture Show at the Pleasant Street Gallery in DeKalb. It was my first time having any of my art in a gallery, and what a wonderful feeling it was. Being back in school is opening up so many opportunities for me to explore and share my artwork. I could go on and on about this, but the real world duties of laundry washing and final exams are calling to me. Until I find more time to write all I want to, here are some photos of the sculptures I had in the show. (Sorry, the photos are only iPhone quality.)

"The Mytho-Mechanics of Sexual Biology"
Nikki Rice
February 2010 

"Breathing in/Breathing out (Homage to Marina & Ulay)"
Nikki Rice
April 2010
* Click here for info on original piece being reference.

Spring Break

I'm currently on spring break from school, and just got home from an awesome road trip with my friends Chrissy and Liam. We went to Myrtle Beach, S.C. Our vacation was spent visiting a great local bar (Duffy's/The Bowery), eating at delicious little restaurants where we could smoke INDOORS, hanging at the beach, visiting the Ripley's Aquarium and other attractions, and meeting odd characters.

This is where I should go into detail about our trip, but I feel like I've got too much to catch up on in my blogging after not writing for a month. So, instead, you'll just have to use your imagination as to what went on in S.C. Here's a slide show of some of my favorite trip photos to help get you started:

Last week, I played an open mic with my new band, Wienerslav (name subject to change in near future), at The House Cafe in DeKalb. We were offered to open up a show on April 22nd and I'm quite stoked. The last time I played a show was about a year ago, with my other band, Eat Your Heart Out!. I will also be playing a "Rock Against Rape" show with both of my bands on April 8th. Music has been one of my major foci for the last couple months, and I feel like it's paying off. It feels great to be performing again.

I've also been SWAMPED with schoolwork this semester. My studio art classes (2-D Art and Beginning Sculpture) are keeping me very busy. I've been juggling like crazy to keep my schedule in order, and I'm not an innately organized person, so it's been a bit rough. I did scratch a couple important items off my to-do list yesterday: replaced my social security card that's been lost for almost two years, and got new copies of my birth certificate with which I can apply for a passport. (I'm going to Greece in June with my friend Chryssa, and I'm incredibly excited.) Next on my list is paying off a few parking tickets I've gotten lately... boo and hiss. Luckily, they're for small amounts and didn't cost much more than parking in the pay lot at school would have. But still, BUMMER.

Well, I'm off for now... going to call up Chryssa and Alexandra and see if we can make a little coffee time today. Cheers, all.

Skip Day

I should be at school right now, in sculpture class, but instead I'm at home, finally catching up on my blogging. The following string of events lead me to this spot:

1. Overslept this morning, waking up too late to catch the bus.

2. Borrowed my roommate's Jeep to drive to school, because I've had a flat tire on my car for over a week now.

3. Stopped at a gas station to take out money from an ATM, then bought a coffee to get some quarters back to use at the parking meters at school.

4. Arrived at school, already 10 minutes late to class, only to find that all of the meters were in use.

5. Thought about circling back around, or parking in the $5 pay lot, but decided just to head home instead.

Rather than get worked up about the fact that I'm missing my favorite class, I'm taking it easy. It turns out that the older I get, the less I worry about the consequences of my actions. Each time I find myself getting anxiety ridden about a crappy date, or a missed homework assignment, or a ridiculously intimate secret shared with a casual acquaintance during a drunken tell-all, I just remind myself that it's not the end of the world - I've undoubtedly dealt with worse. It's a liberating thought process, and I highly recommend it.

A list of awesome things that happened in the last week:

1. My parents renewed their vows on a cruise ship, and brought me back a bunch of cool presents from Barbados. Congrats, Mom and Dad!

2. Bought a hideous on-the-hanger dress at Target that looked way sexy on-the-me.

3. Got my first sculpture assignment, and it's highly interpretable.

4. Learned to play Hank Williams' "Hey, Good Looking" on the keyboard (as well as a few random 90's techno songs).

5. Chryssa dyed my white trash roots back to beautiful blond.

6. Used velcro rollers in my hair for the first time, and, thanks to some helpful amateur YouTube how-to videos, got wonderful results. The video below was the most useful for me. I will try to put up a full instructional post of my own in the next couple days, as I'm assuming that using rollers to curl hair is as big of a mystery to many other people as it was for me.

7. Ate a phenomenal falafel pita at Pita Pete's with Jaime and James, and some damn good Qdoba with Chryssa and Alex; friends and food - need I say more about why these experiences were so exceptional?

8. Got a bunch of canvas and other art supplies from the VCBeast.

9. Spent lots of time with people I love.

10. Received an exciting X-mas gift: a beautiful polka dot corsette!

11. Made plans for the upcoming weekend that are guaranteed to bring me many smiles, much laughter, and maybe even some butterflies in my tummy.

Life is spectacular right now. I wish I could feel this way all the time. I know people say that you can't appreciate the good without the bad, but I find that really hard to believe. And, even if this is true, I think the amount of "bad" I've experienced thus far will keep me appreciating "good" for the rest of my life. Bring it on.

Student Life

I've been back in school for three days, and as of right now, I'm predicting that this will be an interesting, relaxing, and fulfilling semester. I'm taking Art 102 (a 2-D art studio class); Fashion, Modernism, and Modernity; Beginners Sculpture; and Art History I, through ca. 1400. I like all of my professors, I don't have any classes that start earlier than 11 a.m., I'm taking the fashion class with two of my besties (Chryssa and Alexandra), and I have three day weekends all semester! What more could I ask for?

While sitting in my last art history class this evening, I found myself thinking, once again, just how lucky I am to be back in school and working toward a degree that, only a couple of years ago, I never thought I'd be able to pursue. Up until two years ago, I could have never guessed that, at 27 years old, I'd be focusing the majority of my attention and time on art, especially in a scholarly context. I am currently headed down a life path that is soooo different from what it was when I worked for all those years at the newspaper. I enjoyed my job in advertising sales, and, for quite some time, firmly accepted it as the best opportunity I would ever come upon to make a decent living; it just seemed so solid and practical, and the money was great. At first, when my newspaper started to fold right in front of my eyes (no pun intended), I had no idea what I was going to do. But, with the encouragement of friends and family, I am now aiming towards true, long-term happiness, and not just a paycheck and a good retirement plan. This is my fourth semester back in school, and every day that I attend class I have to pinch myself just to make sure this is real... and even when that pinch is felt, I'm still in disbelief.

Social Binge

I have spent my entire winter break on a social binge. I haven't accomplished anything on my list of things to do, such as velvet painting, macrame, deep cleaning my apartment, sorting my hundreds of loose writings laying around the house, organizing my bedroom, etc., etc. School starts in six days and I'm totally anxiety-ridden right now. There are so many things I should be working on, but all I want to do is hang out with my favorite people as much as possible before the homework starts rolling in again.

And once it does, I'll go back to hanging out with my favorite people and putting off that homework until the wee hours of the morning on the day it's due. Pleasure is priority.