"Apparently, he was my very best friend. We spent wild summer days wishin' they would never end."

About a month ago I started working weekends at The House Cafe, an awesome cafe/venue I've mentioned numerous times in previous posts.  I've never worked in food service before, and the whole experience leaves me drained by the time my shift is over.  Despite that, I'm having a great time working there - serving coffee, food, and beer while I get to hear free music, poetry, and stand-up comedy.  Hellz yeah.

When I was working last Saturday night, I found out that one of my favorite singer-songwriters, Ted Leo, is going to be playing there on November 18th.  I'm so excited to hear him play and get the opportunity to meet him.  Ted Leo's song "Timorous Me" was on the first mix CD I ever received, and although that was 11 years ago, I still listen to that mix on a regular basis.  Aside from being the first mix CD I was ever gifted, it was also the best.  The two-disc set was entitled "160 Minutes of Good Shit" and the guy who gave it to me told me that single disc mixes were "for pussies."

The credit for that amazing mix (and the vulgar quote, which was funny only because we both new he was capable of phrasing things in far more eloquent terms) goes to MisterFlak.  He was the first person I met who was as obsessed with music as I was.  We both loved listening to music, and used it as a way to communicate a sincerity that our pleasantly loud social personae rarely afforded us.  Over the next 10 years we spent countless hours creating, writing, and laughing together.  As the story goes, life and love and the cowardliness they breed got in the way, and things are not the same as they used to be.  But it's okay, and so are we.



"There was an awkward pause, and something that should’ve began just passed us by."

Kids' Stuff

When I was 8 years old, these were my lifelong goals: have a "greatest hits" album and be a famous artist. At the time, I was listening to a lot of Frankie Valli (received from Santa, as requested) and Mary Cassatt was my favorite artist. I dreamed of living in France and Whitney Houston was teaching me to sing via her self-titled album.  I wrote my first song, "Baby Blue," and recorded it over and over again, labeling each tape "Nikki Rice's Greatest Hits."

A few years later, I discovered Dr. Demento and decided being a radio host wouldn't be so bad, nor would being an author. I was still into the fame game, but maturing, and I was already beginning to understand the difference between high art and low art. The low was much more appealing to me. I understood the concept of sex far too well, and I read a lot of Judy Blume. I recorded obscene radio shows with my closest friends and wondered why all the boys were calling them and not me. I was in love with writing on my typewriter, which I found to be much more sincere than writing on my computer.

From there I got into making radio shows, watching Beavis & Butthead, and cracking obscene jokes in the company of my closest friends... jokes no one but me fully understood.  I loved watching game shows and playing Gin with my grandma.  I discovered Alanis Morissette and Pearl Jam, but listened to Weird Al just as much.  When I was slightly older, I became obsessed with showing all of my friends my two favorite movies - it was like a rite of passage I inflicted upon all of them - Teen Witch and Welcome to the Dollhouse. If you got those movies, you got me.

And then I found Erykah Badu, and she changed my life. I started singing soul and wearing ankhs. I believed that if I was nice to others, good things would come to me. I asked for a Bible and a cross necklace for Christmas and I got them both. I wore the cross (made of real gold and diamonds) only once or twice, but read my Bible every night. I ended up skimming over a lot, and it just didn't make sense to me as anything more than a moral tale that was 100's of pages too long.

I wanted to live in Vegas. It was my favorite place in the whole world and I talked about it with anyone who would listen. I knew Fremont Street before it was an "experience" and I was so familiar with the city that my parents let me take a cab around town, unaccompanied, starting at the age of 12. I felt like that town "got me," and when I came home I was pompous and self-absorbed and insecure as fuuuuck. I was the last person I knew to get their first kiss, and I stopped competing for top grades because I knew I could never be the best (therefore, why be anything?). I tried out for a choir solo and got it. It was the greatest accomplishment of my life, up until that point in time.

Then I became depressed, went to therapy, went on medication, and met a boy. The rest is history.

I miss THIS.

Since I've last written, I moved out of the apartment I was sharing with Sarah and into a new one with another roomie who ended up leaving halfway through the lease. And, luckily for me, Sarah moved into this new place with me a couple weeks ago. Due to this shifting of space and roommates, a lot of reorganization has been needed on my part. So, I have spent many hours sorting through scattered masses of notes, diaries, travel journals, and other random scrawlings. This, of course, led to countless hours of procrastination in between, during which I decided to reread many of my online blog entries from the past couple of years. Spending so much time reviewing this blog (and all the writings that could have been a part of it) has made me realize something: I miss personal blogging. A LOT.

Why did I quit?

I suppose because I've been trying to turn my online efforts toward more professionally productive avenues, such as building my artist's website (nriceart.com) and a Tumblr account (nriceart.tumblr.com) to go with it. There were business cards to be made, artworks to be photographed, and even a QR code to be created that needed to lead my contacts to a self-made mobile site. With all of this artistic ammunition in hand, I attended my first SGC printmaking conference in New Orleans.

"It's For The Best" Litho by N.Rice (2012)

But that conference took place in March, and since then, outside of creating some awesome new prints, I was just doing a lot of Facebooking. (I also traveled to Amsterdam, started working on music with a new band, and dealt with all sorts of man-drama in my personal life... all quite noteworthy ways to spend one's time, but those stories are for another day.)

And so I'm back!! I'm turning 30 in 13 days, am about to start my LAST year of art school (yes, I will actually have a degree soon, and after only 12 years of on-again-off-again college attendance), and I'm not about to miss out on documenting the achievements and horrors that are sure to befall me over the next year. Riding on the cusp of thirty has me doing all sorts of reflecting, analyzing, obsessing, and promising myself changes in lifestyle and thought patterns. I need to share it all somewhere, or my life may as well be a tree falling in the forest, with no one to hear it.

So, can we take the next hour and talk about me?

My Favorite Quotes in 2011

"Truth is, I've always been thirsty." - Edward Bloom, Big Fish



"We're done with you. Go back to the golf course and work on your putz." - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through. It is potential liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death." - R. D. Laing

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering." - Paulo Coelho



"Whatever I did, I did without rules of other people. I did it because I wanted to do it." - Herb Vogel



"Maybe if I hadn't of seen so much hard feelings, I might not could have felt other people's." - Woody Guthrie (from "Another Man's Done Gone")

“Fate loves the fearless.” - James Russell Lowell

And now, a word against bitterness...

When I was a young lass, I asked one of my guy friends if he thought I was pretty. He said, "you'd be pretty if you lost some weight."

Sometime later that year, I wrote a love letter to another boy I was friends with, and delivered it to him in person. Then, we just continued hanging out, both pretending that he hadn't read it.

The next year, my boyfriend at the time was having a bad night at work, so I brought him what I thought was his favorite kind of ice cream. He looked at my surprise gift and said, "I like chocolate chip, not cookie dough."

During my senior year, I invited a boy I liked to a party. He showed up then made out with two of my best friends.

When I was a little older, I briefly dated a man who refused to be my boyfriend because he "didn't want to be in a relationship." A few days after I tried to get him to commit, he came to my band's show and introduced everyone to his new girlfriend. Needless to say, it was not me.

Then there were the times I actually fell in love with them, but never them with me. Those were the worst... like the one who told me he was attracted to me and that I was his best friend, but that he couldn't date me. Or the one who made me cry when I told him I wouldn't be kissing him again until he admitted he had feelings for me.  Or the one who told me that hanging around with me fulfilled him in the same way a girlfriend would, so now he would just have to find someone to have sex with.

But I'M NOT BITTER - and I'm so sick of meeting people who are! Get over it and allow yourself a little happiness. The walls you put up make you so boring - don't you know that? Share a little, love a little, and stop being a selfish, miserable prick who leaves a trail of pretty little crushed hearts everywhere you go. Life is about openness - to people, to experiences, to love.

Some advice for all you bitter bastards out there:

• Learn to take a compliment
• When you see someone you know, say hi to them
• Smile, for fuck's sake
• If you get someone's number, call them
• At least pretend to like yourself
• Learn to trust, and share
• Accept a little blame, then move on
• Or go become a stand-up comedian and put your self-hatred to good use

Happy Thanksgiving! If I love you, you know it, and you may consider this blog entry a toast to the immense amount of joy you contribute to this world. Cheers!

Things That Make Me Happy

I had a damn good weekend. I spent lots of time with good friends, new friends, old friends, family... and after my stressful week of mid-terms, this was just what I needed. I was going to blog all about this weekend's events, as they were all pretty fantastic, but instead I'm going to share something I found the other day (and just in the nick of time, I might add). I found a list I made on February 8, 2010, of 33 things that make me happy.

I wrote it one day at Alexandra's house, after a rough couple months of boy problems and depression. At that time, I felt like I had been overlooking all the good things in life; I needed to remind myself that there were plenty of reasons to smile. It hung on my fridge at my old house, and now it's hanging on the fridge at my new house, right where it belongs. Here it is, uncensored:

1. music
2. coffee
3. sunshine
4. stretching
5. exercise
6. breakfast
7. Weight Watchers
8. bike riding
9. reading
10. cleaning
11. clean clothes
12. Sunday phone calls/emails
13. doing my hair & make-up
14. matching underwear
15. sex
16. parties (especially theme parties)
17. dressing up
18. drawing
19. singing
20. practicing instruments
21. watching movies
22. dinner with friends
23. museums
24. swimming
25. painting nails/toenails
26. going to the movies
27. Chicago
28. crafting
29. kids
30. car coffee
31. massages
32. painting
33. dancing
34. showering
35. going out for coffee
36. poetry

What makes you happy?

Is that all there is?

My mantra song for the weekend:

"Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friends,
then let's keep dancing!
Let's break out the booze
and have a ball!
If that's all there is..."

Peggy Lee is fantastic, but one should also check out Firewater's amazing cover of this song.

It'll almost be like you were there!

Wienerslav played a show on Wednesday night, and my friend Chrissy was kind enough to take some videos of our set. Below are the videos of our two originals. The videos of our covers are being posted to our Facebook page as I type, if you'd like to check out more.

May Madness

Someone is ringing the ghetto doorbell outside - honk honk honk honk - seriously? Just get out of you car and go to the door, jerk face. Grr.

School's out for summer, my roommate has moved out, and I'm leaving for Greece in less than three weeks. Also, I will be moving out of my apartment before I leave for vacation, and I'm a little sad about letting it go. Even though the electricity and plumbing are shit (I can't run a toaster and a coffee machine at the same time without the power going out, and every time I take a shower water leaks into my neighbors' bedroom), I do like this place a lot. Not only that, but since I moved in a little less than a year ago, I've managed to acquire approximately 80-100 new owl collectibles, and probably about 60-80 new VHS tapes. Moving is gonna be an overwhelming process. As it always is.

In other news, Wienerslav has been asked to play another show at The House on May 19th, opening up for a Virginia band called The Judy Chops. We are also going to get together to record a couple songs on Monday and make ourselves a MySpace page to showcase our tunes. Keep your ears open!

And though I haven't had a moment to make any crafts for the Etsy shop I mentioned a couple months ago, my friend and fellow blogger Chrissy has, and her items are posted and ready for sale! Check them out at The Tawdry Owl on Etsy. And while you're there, check out my brother's shop, too.

Last but not least, here are some photos of my final sculpture project. I'm really pleased with how it turned out, and I wish it would have been finished early enough to be in the show with my other works. Too bad. Maybe I will be able to show it sometime in the future...

"Better Version of Me"

Nikki Rice

May 2010

Living This Life

April has been a month spent immersed in art and music, just as I prefer. On the 8th, both of my bands, Eat Your Heart Out! and Wienerslav, played a benefit concert called Rock Against Rape (see my previous post for info). It was fantastic! About $1000 was collected for the local non-profit agency Safe Passage. Then, on the 22nd, Wienerslav played another show with some amazing musicians - most notably, Jason and the Punknecks. The bill was filled with high energy country-punk-blues bands that I felt honored to play amongst.

I don't have any future shows scheduled yet, but am looking to book one for my birthday, at the end of the summer. And hopefully a few in between, once I get back from my summer vacation to Greece. Yes, I'm going to Greece!!! For a whole month! Could I be any luckier?

In other news, two of my sculpture pieces were featured in NIU's 2010 Graduate and Undergraduate Sculpture Show at the Pleasant Street Gallery in DeKalb. It was my first time having any of my art in a gallery, and what a wonderful feeling it was. Being back in school is opening up so many opportunities for me to explore and share my artwork. I could go on and on about this, but the real world duties of laundry washing and final exams are calling to me. Until I find more time to write all I want to, here are some photos of the sculptures I had in the show. (Sorry, the photos are only iPhone quality.)

"The Mytho-Mechanics of Sexual Biology"
Nikki Rice
February 2010 

"Breathing in/Breathing out (Homage to Marina & Ulay)"
Nikki Rice
April 2010
* Click here for info on original piece being reference.

And one more thing...

Thank you, Chryssa.

Art & Music Schtuff! (And other news.)

My schedule is consumed with all things art and music right now. I'm in two bands right now - Eat Your Heart Out! and Wienerslav. Both of my musical projects will be playing at the WRC's Rock Against Rape show (to benefit Safe Passage) at The House on April 8th, and Wienerslav is playing another show there on the 22nd. It's been so long since I've played a show, and I've never played keyboard in a band before, which I am now doing with Wienerslav.

Chryssa, Alexandra, and I practiced about a week ago. We are tightening up some classic material, and also working on some new stuff. Liam, Josiah, and I have been working on getting together a 30 minute set, and it is going really well. It's always exciting to play with new musicians, and I feel like we've really started to gel. I think my keyboard skills are improving a lot, and my voice is getting some much-needed practice, too.

Chrissy and I opened an Etsy shop about two weeks ago, called The Tawdry Owl, and we've been working on items to fill it up. We haven't posted anything yet, but should have some cool paper picture frames up in the next week. Chrissy has been slaving away over them and they look awesome! I'm pretty sure she was a sweatshop worker in a past life. I, on the other hand, have yet to actually FINISH any of the items I've started. Everything I want to make seems to take forever... I'm trying to up my production energy, but art school homework and music practice have been taking up most of my time. Here's a picture of some of the frames Chrissy's working on. I'll post an update when we post them for sale in the shop.

Other bits of randomness that have pleased me lately, in no particular order: Josiah taught me how to play Go, I got some new VHS tapes for my collection, Jaime very generously let me borrow her electric piano, I heard from two people on Facebook who I haven't seen in years, I spent a wonderful afternoon with my mom, I've almost finished reading Snoop, and I finally cleaned my room.

And a few things I'm looking forward to in the next couple of weeks: Chryssa's birthday, practicing more with all my awesome band mates, a Flak Attack, and actually finishing one of my Etsy projects.

And, finally, go check out Chrissy's new blog: Blog de Glitter Emitter. I command you.

“When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.” - Edgar Watson Howe

In the last couple months, my love of music has pleasantly developed into a full-on obsession. It's been years since I've felt so passionate about finding new bands and seeing live performances. Lucky for me, I have many friends with a phenomenal ability to read my tastes in music, and then pass on their own recommendations accordingly; now, I would like to do the same for you. Here is a list of my current five favorites, with a special thanks to be given to Mike, Alexandra and Josh, Alex, and Jaime for their contributions to my addiction:

* Click the song titles (if link is available) to hear a partial clip.

THE DUTCHESS AND THE DUKE

 

• Website: http://www.myspace.com/thedutchessandtheduke
• Favorite Songs:
• Reservoir Park, from the album "She's The Dutchess, He's The Duke"
• Hands, from the album "Sunset/Sunrise" 
• Living This Life, from the album "Sunset/Sunrise"
  

ST. VINCENT 

 

•  Website: http://www.ilovestvincent.com/
• Favorite Songs:
• Your Lips Are Red, from the album "Marry Me"
• The Apocalypse Song, from the album "Marry Me"

THE FORMAT

 

•  Website: http://www.theformat.com/
  
• Favorite Songs:
• Snails, from the album "Dog Problems"
• Inches And Falling, from the album "Dog Problems"

*Song clips not available, but you can listen to The Format on their MySpace page.

MANU CHAO

 

•  Website: http://www.manuchao.net/
• Favorite Songs:
• Bongo Bong, from the album "Clandestino"
  
• Me Gustas Tu, from the album "Proxima Estación: Esperanza"  

COCOROSIE

• Website: http://www.cocorosieland.com/
• Favorite Songs:
• Good Friday, from the album "La Maison de Mon Rêve"
• Not For Sale, from the album "La Maison de Mon Rêve"

Ian's Party 2010

On Saturday night, I went to a punk festival in downtown Elgin called Ian's Party. It turned out to be a really great time. Jaime and I got there pretty early, and were able to see some awesome bands. Highlights of the evening's line-up included: Heart Shaped Hate (with Chica X - a nine year old female rapper), Amen and the Hell Yeahs, Elephant Gun, Sass Dragons, and Zlam Dunk.

 

Despite the below zero weather, the night was a total blast. We drank over-priced PBR ($2.50 - seriously?), danced, heard some new music, and ran into old friends.

The last set we caught was my friends' band, the Sass Dragons. It was a strange experience... the last time I saw them play was years ago, in the basement of their house, surrounded by their close friends. They've really grown since then. It was cool to see their new followers thrashing around, spitting beer, and singing along. There's something extremely awesome about seeing talented local musicians getting the attention they deserve. They rocked the cat box with their set, for sure.

I will say, though, I almost felt a little too old to be there. I suppose that's because I haven't been to a punk show in so long, and, in a way, those kind of shows remind me of a time in my life that now seems like the distant past. I don't party the way I used to (thankfully), and I couldn't even hold my own in the pit for more than one song before being pushed to the back. Fail! However, the next morning, when I woke up smelling like other people's sweat, sore from being spiritedly shoved around, and hair crispy from the beer being thrown into the air during the last performance, I did experience a comforting wave of nostalgia.

 

O, the feel of filth.